Jail

The one thing about jail is you will never forget that your in jail. #Jail is meant o remind you where you are and what you did. Only in jail can you wake up in the am , watch a movie, take a nap or two and it still be 5 o"clock. This NRC cell that im in is literally "The Hole" or a soletary confinement cell. Im told some people with serious cases will be housed here for their entire stay. SHEESH. This is just a stop for most of us. Aside from the two times per week we get to go outside on the yard were locked in our cells.

As we the inmates circle this caged enclosure about 15 ft X 30 ft. I can see and hear how other inmates outside of talking about their cases or whats going on in the world, begin to talk to themselves too. Yes i talked to myself after a couple of weeks. Not cause i was going crazy, I talked to myself so i could hear my voice. A voice. The human being needs conversation i found. At this point I had been without a cellie for only a couple days and it was starting to effect me.

Yes jail can make you a little wacky, in some cases it pushes men and women to the breaking point. Sadly in jail ,at your breaking point, your usually met with no consideration or kindness. In fact you often end up in a worse situation. Small things can make you erupt over time leading to most of the violence in jails. Its the constant pressure of being controlled and operated like a farm machine by the jail staff. The lack of respect and rights for incarcerated individuals by their captors. And life

An inmate can get a bad phone call from his girl or mom and now his attitude and maneurisms have dramtically changed. Instead of that nice guy who walks around singing or doing push ups is suddenly this tyrant on a rampage. Most guys in jail get fit, they get fit because other guys are fit , As a man you know where you size up against another man in combat, and jail is a combat institution. We work out to stay ready for whatever. Be strong.

Me . One day i was delivered a box milk lot regularly with my tray. As i opened the milk carton i could smell the putrid odor of spoiled milk. This day with that dinner we received 2 almond cookies. Not grandmas but hey this jail , this was a delicacy. i couldnt eat them. Matter of fact dinner was over for me at this point. Furious i got back up in my bunk and folded the cookies away in toilet tissue for the next day. My mood instantly changed. I fell into a deep depression. This was only day 13 or 14..

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THAT ONE XMAS

there's only really one #christmas that i can think of where i got a gift. May have been 85/86.. i was 3/4 at that time. I remember my mom ( versie ) letting us stay up til 12am xmas eve and us counting down the seconds like new years eve. When 12 oclock hit we went running, screaming and hollering into the living room where the xmas tree was placed and one nice sized, gift wrapped box lay along a few smaller ones.

I remember my oldest brother george seated unraveling this box , i guess he had some clue or feeling of what it was as he jumped for joy as he got a peek. Soon to discover we had got a #Nintendo for xmas. Only the lucky few could even afford this " TOY " while living in #CabriniGreenProjects back in 1986. This was a splurge and we got one. I didnt even know what a nintendo was, but because my 3 older brothers were jumping , hollering and celebrating, i did too!!

This was all of our gift. The nintendo back then came with both video games #mariobros. and #DUCKHUNT 1 standard remote controller, 1 nintendo gun controller and the cords to hook it up to the t.v. I just so happened to be the youngest most naive at a whopping 4 years old , so i almost never got to play this dam nintendo game.I couldnt tell you what the other few gifts surrounding the tree were, maybe socks or something.

Funny story about a nintendo is that my mom's best friend at the time ms Yvonne Abraham who was a muslim and didnt even celebrate xmas, had also got hers kids (5 or 6 kids) a gaming system this #xmas of 86 for some reason or another. But That was short lived. One day they didnt clean or do their homework by the time she got home from work or whatever and she went ballistic.. The Nintendo may have costed $100 and that was alot back then, and we didnt have a lot of extra money so this was a splurge. BUt anyways she grabbed the gaming console and threw it down the incinerator or trash heep in the #projects. That was unheard of, but Yvonne wasnt to be played with lol.

I cant remember another christmas where i got another gift from my parents. Our xmas's werent like the ones on tv. My mom did whatever my dad thought and said being a wife and my dad just didnt think making kids happy was important. Definetly not by spending money!!

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WORKING WITH WU TANG’s GHOST FACE KILLAH

One day i get a email from #FRANKDUKES now he goes by #WAYOFGING @wayofging. Before Frank Duke produced for #Drake, #PostMalone, #TravisScott, #NickiMinaj he actually reached out to me via twitter in 2011/ 2012 or so. He hit me up via DM and asked me if id be willing to write a song over one of his beats. I said yea cuz that was the hustle when i first started. Long story medium i wrote the song sent it back and he was impressed. The next day he said lets do a 10 song album ill give you 10 x the amount of that 1 song ($500) so $5000 to record a 10 song album with him. at this point i had never did a show yet lol. but i was getting posted on #fakeshoredrive #spin #complexmagazine and people were digging this #soultrap music i create.

Months go by and frank would send me beats to write to as we compiled our album. In the midst of all this back and forth or as we wrapped our album up. I really liked working with Frank. Frank sent me this beat he made, that he intended for a project he was working on with #ghostfacekillah . You mean GhostFace form #wuTang ?? Turns out Frank wanted a hook from me to pitch to #GFK and help me out too. He wanted me to make a hook / chorus that ghost would like. I did that , but I also threw a verse in there just because i liked the beat so much. i send it back to frank and i dont hear anything for months.

Months later frank sends me paperwork to sign for splits and publishing etc. and i signed them and returned them. Then maybe a month after that they drop the GhostFace album #soursoul and im on this song called #STREETKNOWLEDGE FT #BADBADNOTGOOD and they used this song as the single. To my surprise they didnt use my #hook / #chorus at all. Instead they kept my verse that they didnt even ask for or expect and with that i made history. I did a song with Ghostface.

This was one of my greatest moments in my career and helped instill the fact that i was and am till this day, "ONE OF THE GREATS" . For that i am forever greatful..

Til this day i havent seen a single dime from that song. Frank Dukes the world class producer is singing and touring rock n roll these days. i liked what i heard to be honest!! One day i hit frank to tell him what was going on with me and my impending jail sentence via #instagram and he told me call him in about a week he was in the middle of some things. I guess he thought i was calling about that money ive never gotten.. Oh WELL I will say that i wouldve jumped on a song with ghost face killah for free, and to this day i will again. FOR FREE!! AND ANY OTHER LEGENDARY ARTIST...

Surprisingly ive never met Ghost Face either.. We've never had a conversation. I guess he liked the verse tho. hahaha. i tried reaching out to Ghost just to say waddup and introduce myself but nothing. Anyhoot that was the story of me and ghostface..

929 N HUDSON #704 Cabrini Green

My grandmother Virgia B. Lucas was a very religious woman. She read her bible day and night. I myself beleive in god because of my grandma and her teachings. She'd chaperoned all of her grand kids (20 or more ) as well as most of the kids from #cabrinigreen to church with her every sunday. Every sunday. Reading #trevornoah's book #BornaCrime while in #jail i completely related to him , how he was made to go to church every sunday, Bible study on wednesdays etc etc. It was torture. Probably why i dont go to church now. We made it fun though. when possible.

My grandmother helped raise half of the kids from the #WILDEND section of Cabrini Green. Literally. My grandma changed the diapers of future killers, dealers , leaders, rapist and famous street legends.. Me and my family were somehow related to a ton of people from the cabrini green projects , which also made life easy in such a hostile environment.

Mrs. Lucas had a few other uncommon attributes. One being my grandma had #Chickens and #roosters housed with us in the projects . Shed brought her animals with her when my family came up to chicago back in the early 50's from hazelhurst and jackson Mississippi during the #GreatMigration when #BlackFolks moved up from the southern #racist states in search of a better life. Yes #hens in the projects.. They screamed every morning like an alarm clock or like they show you in the movies. Their names were Tammy & Teresa. They'd peck you too. They were #AngryBirds and would out of no where charge at you and peck you. lol.

My grandma also kept and maintained a whole Garden in the back yard of 929 N hudson of the projects. Her kids ( 9 ) my mom included took turns managing and harvesting mostly vegetables and greens that we'd cook and eat. As we got older our fsmily became known for all these things mentioned. These things have even saved my life on at least 1 occasion . Me being somewhat Kin - folks to guys i ran into later in life who chose other sides in the cabrini green wars. Those people that became family during those younger years remembered my grandmother by way of church or being baby sat by my grandmother always treated me as such and i them. i love that.

Cancer took my grandma from us maybe 15 years ago. At a fraction of her usual size i watched my grandmother die a long painful death. I from time to time would wonder how a woman who devoted herself totally to god ,be punished in the end in such a way. Dieing in pain is harsh. As i got older i rationalized that god allowed that ending for my grandma only to wake my family up in some way because we had drifted so far from him and our roots by that time. #Godisgood #ATT

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SoulTrap

SOULTRAP is a form of trap music that i coined and created in 2009/10 not sure i be getting high #SoulTrap A form of soul music. In my eyes its modern day folk music. I dont write raps for the most part, i often tell my real life situations. i talk about my insecurities. i talk about my sacrifices. the most genuine moments between me and my children are often expressed in my music. this is my diary. my shrink.

1st off id have to say that ive never correlated money with music. Meaning i never tried / aimed to get rich with my music. Bad business. I remember just wanting people to hear my music. I knew my music sounded different than every body else's. I was confident in myself since day 1. i only started rapping after seeing and hearing friends from cabrini green building 364 w. oak do it wrong in my opinion. hahaha. I knew i could beat what they were doing. In that small competition bloomed me rapping.

Let it be told from me, I personally feel like if i had not stopped pushing my career and chose to pursue illegal endeavors, id undoubtedly be somewhat of a star or definetly top touring underground independent artists in the world. In my opinion its "ME' "DRAKE" "KENDRICK" "COLE" and a few other choice artist. IM ON THAT LEVEL!!! With that being said I have fell back in love with the art and will continue to make and produce music. #soultrap

SoulTrap is a form of trap music. SoulTrap A form of soul music. In my eyes its modern day folk music. I dont write raps for the most part, i often tell my real life situations. i talk about my insecurities. i talk about my sacrifices. the most genuine moments between me and my children are often expressed in my music. this is my diary. my shrink. ENJOY

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